God Bless This Mess

We are in the midst of ‘Home Ownership’ and all of its joys.

The U-HaulWe moved out of the apartment on Saturday, and are now officially in our new home – although that currently consists of rooms that are half painted and filled top to bottom with boxes.  Many of the boxes contain items that I have not seen in 4 years, so a yard sale is imminent.

My master plan is to save some time and make some money by simply slapping a ‘sticker price’ on any boxes that don’t contain necessities, and then hold an auction for each of the boxes.  I will hire an artist to create a ‘rendition’ of what is contained in the box, and then have lucky participants (mostly neighbors and a few local celebrities – like our niece Sofia) bid on the value of what is contained inside the box.  I figure we’ll pare down our belongings, while earning a great deal more money than we would if we held a traditional yard sale.  Brilliant, no?

In an ironic twist, we have purchased a home that seems to be built out of lead.  I not only get ‘spotty’ reception with my cell phone (AKA – lifeline of my business), but the Verizon FiOS that we had installed actually give the wireless internet many of the properties of a dial-up connection.  The ‘blazing speed’ that I read in the brochure is apparently a misprint.  Or, perhaps blazing speeds are reserved for customers who are willing to purchase the Ultimate HD Triple-Play Super Platinum Power package.

Appliances?  We’ve got ’em!  Our tiny little galley kitchen is now the final resting place for two of the largest and shiniest, steel appliances you have ever seen.  Sadly, the Blue Team at Sears has been completely incapable of delivering service for six days now, so while we briefly had a working gas stove, we currently have two ridiculous monoliths in the kitchen, and a microwave and blue ice chest in the living room.  Now, I know what ‘energy saver’ appliances really means!

Luckily, once the kitchen appliances are hooked up, Melanie will be able to stand in one place to clean, cut, cook and get into the refrigerator – all at the same time!  Seriously!

Anyway, in spite of the stress, it is wonderful to be in our new house – and sooner or later everything will be as it should.  We look forward to that day, sometime in 2011, and hope that we live to see it.